do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
