READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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