I think my vagina is haunted
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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