you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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