Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can I color on your dick again?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.