ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.