I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom