i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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