no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dick very happy bro
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
