If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I would ride that face into the sunset
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
