you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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