Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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