Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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