Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
