i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
