He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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