Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
