I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize