I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
