I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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