im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The air taste purple.
Randomize
