the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
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the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize