I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
