She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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