I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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