Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
