you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
