Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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