dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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