all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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