The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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