do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
