I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
