I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
