I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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