real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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