could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We need to get me chipped asap
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
