Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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