I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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