Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
