I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
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they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
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She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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