He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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