Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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