Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
