your room smells of hookers.
And success
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
