you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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