He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
