Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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