what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
