Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
