p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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