I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
