I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
