the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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