so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
