no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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