im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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