Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
