There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
