so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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