WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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