You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
