u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
