is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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