Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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