textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
