He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
