He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
