Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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