Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
